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When brainstorming for April Fools ideas we asked ourselves “What would scare the shit out of Louisiana residents?” And that’s how we got this little gem. Admit it, did you begin to tear up when you first saw this?
In a pivotal and unusual landmark decision, Louisiana’s Democratic party today formally endorsed Governor Bobby Jindal’s candidacy for the 2016 Presidential nomination.
“We couldn’t hope for a better Republican candidate,” said Senator Mary Landrieu, “Jindal’s record includes positions right of even Hitler, aligned with the right-most of conservatives, including opposing abortion, same-sex marriage, and teaching evolution, so the youth and women of America are going to love him” says Senator Mary Landrieu, barely able to keep a straight face.
She continued, “Jindal’s record proves he has the dedication to commit to his goals, whether they be bowing to oil executives, or disregarding with healthcare for the poor. He stays committed, one hundred and ten percent, despite any evidence presented. Like a terminal disease.”
Bobby Jindal has not officially stated he plans to run for President but rumors are mounting amidst recent poll numbers showing a 35% approval rating in his home state. Thankfully, Due to Jindal’s lack of educational funding within the state, though, most of Louisiana’s populace is unsure if that is a majority or not.
“35 percent is like half of the state,” said one Cut-Off, LA resident. Though he fully endorsed the decision, he commented further later said “Who is Bobby Jindal?”
“We in Louisiana are so glad that Governor Jindal was lucky enough to have the Ivy League education needed to cater to the top one percent while slowly killing the other 99 percent. We just wish he’d give the same opportunity to his constituents” remarked Landrieu.
“We in Louisiana are so glad that Governor Jindal was lucky enough to have the Ivy League education needed to cater to the top one percent while slowly killing the other 99 percent. We just wish he’d give the same opportunity to his constituents” remarked Landrieu.
This one was cruel and unusual but it got your attention! That’s was the goal, so mission accomplished we say! Check out more from our April Fools series, and see if your friends thought any of them were real!
